Up around the belly

Mountain Boys are hot! Especially 20 yr old ones with really big.....trucks. Heres to Josh. It was the best sex Ive had in a loooonnnng time and you are still the craziest person Ive met since coming here. I hope you find your hearts dreams and I hope Im there to congratulate you when you do!
-TARA

Current Mood: content

Hi to all in BayArea!
Lots going on here.
Moved to Hayfork, got a job(woodworking! whoda thunk?) and Gannoon is going to preschool. Rodney is behaving himself at the appropriate times anyway.
Just got aprooved for a loan on a house. Dont know if er are gonna go through with it yet, but the option is there.
I MISS ALL YOU ALL!
There are like NO gay people in this little hick town and im going through hag withdrawls. BUT There is theater. So I still have all my drama! lol.
I'll be online a little bit more often so feel free to drop me line or two, I may actually respond brfore the year is out!
LOVE ALL!
-BEAR

Current Mood: OH YEAH!
Current Music: Sublime- 40 oz to freedom

I just got done reading a bit from all my friendies journals out there. HI everyone! So let me update whats been going on. I got my drivers license. Im reconciling things with Rodney. For as long as he keeps his lucrative job. That sounds shallow but its not. You just have to understand that Rod is happy and RESPONSABLE only for as long as he is doing well for himself. Probably moving up north. Dont know when or the details of that yet. Gannon is doing well. Speaking very well, and charming absolutely everyone he meets. I love my little boy.I'll try to get a sitter for a night or two before I leave so that I can come out to the new bar I keep hearing about, and make a stop at the beloved KoC. I miss that place. I havent sang in sooooo long.
Loves to all.
-TARA

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Scissor Sisters- take your mama out

Impromtu trip to SD. NOt very exciting but family is good to see. I drove a bit. And it was good. ummmmm.Its raining. I like that. Thinking about the year gone by. wow. sometimes I wonder at how i screwed things up. It was such a promising year. and now im right back where i started...literally. lol.
ok so its not that bad. but it could be better.
bug.
oh yeah and my wisdom tooth is coming in a it HURTS.
bug.

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: the throbbing of my jaw as my tooth rips through my gums

I finally got my drivers permit. I drove around los banos for about an hour yesterday. With my sister, in her car. Suprisingly enough I didnt even get annoyed. but she was on her cell the whole time and not even paying attention to anything I was doing. so yeay. I will be a full fledged driver soon! yall better watch yer selves!
So I at my moms house this week. She is enjoying the visit and Im enjoying all her nifty kitchen gadgets and spending time with my nephew and son. Im going to my dads tomorrow for a bit and then home. Hopefully to await a visit with our long time friend Bethieeeeeee! It will be good to see herand her sweeties again.
But chasing around after 2 kids has made me headacheeeee and tirrrrred. so its off to bed as soon as my nephew falls asleep. :)

Current Mood: achey
Current Music: something from smash mouth thats in this Hot Wheels movie

Its been a few since I posted. Dial up just doesnt make internet mucking easy. So..gannon is living with me now AND ITS ABOUT DAMN TIME TOO! so woot for me. I got all the paperwork done and turned in that I needed to get help with day care for him. I spent two days in the social services office to get it done but every reward has its challenges.Im still waiting to hear back from the day care people....I hate waiting,but everything is taken care of until they do get back to me so woot again.
I had a good time when I went to Hayfork two weeks ago. I actulaly ENJOYED myself. I got to hang out with Rodney and his best friend Chris(recently divorced so his wet noodle of a wife wasnt there to nag.) and they didnt shut me out by playing video games the whole time. We had coversations and played cards, drank some beer, and joked around(I got know Chris a bit more intimately,Im such a naughty girl!) and I REALLY liked being able to hang out with them.It was just like the old days when Rod and I were good to eachother.Le sigh. Rodneys mother got her medication changed, so she wasnt a pain in the butt to visit with. Gannon enjoyed having most of his important people in one place and time so was a joy and well behaved the whole time.
sincle then ive been sitting at home enjoying the company of my son, a bit starved for adult contact, but I'll get over that. Life is good enough that I cant complain!
So now Im at my moms house for a visit with her, my nephew, my sister and to FINALLY get my drivers permit. Ive an appointment at 10:45 for the test. wish me luck.
Love you all!
p.s. I dont know whats up but Ive been listening to country music lately.You can take the girl out of the the farm but you cant take the farm out of the girl. Well farm, ranch, countryside...trailer park, whatever.

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Mr. Mom

Picture Tara sitting at the computer with a cup of tea in hand,rumpled pajamas that she hasnt had the presence of mind to change out of(except for a brief time last night), red eyed, hair a tagled mess of a pony tail and getting up every couple of minutes or so to pace about and try to relax her cleanched teeth.
Thats about what the last three days have been like. Mostly. I feel like im developing an ulcer or something. And why you might ask.....
BEACUSE THAT !@#$%! EX OF MINE ISNT HERE YET!
To be fair it really wasnt his fault. They sent him out on another run and that meant the he wouldnt be able to be here until today. He should be on his way shortly but until he actually knocks on my door I have to wonder if this whole thing isnt going to happen afterall. And thats all I can think about.
I WANNA SEE MY SON DAMMIT!

The upside of this weekend was Kristines house warming(I actually like the movie Earth Girls Are Easy) and AVP with Cameron,Alex and Phillip. Im glad I saw the movie already cause I was paying a lot of attention to Cameron saying "thats FanTAstic" everytime something cool happened. And Phillip was making some sort of funny noise that I didnt understand but it was funny anyway. Of course Alex was being a little girl( I love ya honney!) and shreiking(not as loud this time) at the scary parts. I LOVED IT! I still owe an AVP showing to Shawn. He was gonna go with us last time but he got hisself too busy to leave with us when it was time to go.I DO hope Carla wasnt late to work that day.
Gotta log off so I can call my ex and see if he is on his way yet.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: TLC- NO SCRUB

Update...
1. Gannon is back as of next week.
2. I no longer work at Century 23. I transferred over to Century 20 Oakridge.
3. Im on vacation for a week and Im ususing my vacation to go get my son.
4. I was starting to crush on someone who was way to young. Im glad Im going to Oakridge.
5.Matt came over the other night and we had some good reconncting time.


6. I dont have another 10 statements to write but a couple have popped into my head so here they are...
A.Every time I see you,I have to get to know you all over again.
B.You lie so much that even you believe your own lies and thats PATHETIC.
C.Im curious about you.
D.Im glad you arent gay,suprised, but glad.

LOVES ALL!

Current Music: Angry Girl Music

1.I now know what it's like to worry like you did.
2.Ive had some bad feelings toward you in the past, but Im slowly getting over them.
3.No one has ever given me as much as you have.
4.I promise not to hit you ever again,even if you are a bitch,and I love you too.
5.I dont know how we communicate so well with others but not with eachother.
6.We could have been really good friends.
7.There are no words to describe how shamed I feel that you arent here with me.
8.Despite everything you have put me through, I still care about you.
9.I feel happy whenever I think of you.
10.I used to think I was in love with you.

Now Im gonna go cry.

ITs a fun game. A REALLY fun game. Im sore already. Unfortunately being dislexic makes the game a bit difficult to master. Fuck why am I saying master? It makes the game hard to play period. But its fun and I dont care how badly I suck, Im hooked. And rebekki left her ddr pads and game over here. She will NEVER get them back! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Current Music: Whatever DDR song is playing right now.

If a train staion is where the train stops,whats a work station?

My dog saw you naked.He says your birthday suit needs ironing.

My mind is like God.It works in mysterious ways.

Current Music: NSYNC

I DEMAND MORE MONKEYS!
Chunky monkeys
Fluffy monkeys
Cute monkeys
Big angry monkeys
Sexy monkeys
CHEEKEY monkeys
Sour monkeys
Little monkeys
AND...
Scottish monkeys('cause if its not Sco'ish its crrrrap!)

Back me up here people. I need your support.

Current Music: Barenaked ladies- Another Postcard(with chimpanzees)

I cant tell if Im spending copious amts. of time by myself or if Im just SO bored that its seems like I have been. Either way its the feeling that counts right?
WELL...I had a good time watching Alex's reactions to The Village. It was my third time seing the movie so I was really more amused by him jumping out of his seat and yelping than I was the movie.Cameron was there too and though his reactions werent as verbal as dearest Alex's were, they were still watchable. (as a side note I didnt think the monsters were very scary. Even the FIRST time I saw them they just looked like mutant porcupines to me.)Neither of them liked the autistic character. I did though.
We had psudeo mexican food before the movie. Good psudeo mexican though. We had conversation about our fucked up families. I learned a thing or two about my fellow conversationalists that I did not know before. All in all a good night, when good nights are in short supply. I am thankfull for it.
On the Gannon end of things....Im going up to Hayfork 2nd to last wekk of this month to visit for the week. Hopefully mid september will herald his arrival in San Jose. I still havent touched base with Rodney enough get any firm details about the WHEN of things. Its till seem odd to me that he is a truck driver now.(krinkels forehead and sighs in a confused manner)
I have no one that Im crushing on at the moment. Thats really odd for me. Hehe. Just gimme a min though and I'll find someone to obsess over. (Oh! Who was that that just walked past my window?!?!)
Ive been working out a lot more lately. Stationary bike and weights. I miss going out and running.
Manager Matt from work is turning out to be a good friend. We drink a lot and talk a lot when we chill. He has a cool room and nifty music too. I hope he stays around for a while.
Work....is a dead end job and not very good anymore. blek. I put in some aps. on my end of town. blek again. I need to go back to school. blek times 3. Maybe I'll go find a rich guy who needs a wife and kids and get married...but the sex might not be so great in that situation....blek for the 4th time.
DO YOU LIKE BREAD? I GOT FRENCH LOAF! *WHAP* *run run run* I LOVE YOUUUUUU!

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: Ode to the Babay Goth-not really music but you get the idea

If there is an ultimate love then there is an ultimate hate.
Not a very pretty thought, but it really does make sense. Well it makes sense to someone that thinks that all things in nature balance out. Like me. It makes sense to me. Same way that syaing "there can be no good without evil" makes sense.
poo.
Now Im gonna go draw a pretty picture. with crayons. and glitter. and Im going to wear a big fuzzy hat while I draw. maybe missmatched sox too. I amuse me.

Shawna and Brian....You read what I posted on Shawnas LJ I hope. We need to get together for a beach trip. or something. I seriously need you guys around more.I miss you.(well that and you are some of the VERY few non-gay friends I have right now. ;))

Current Music: Tangerine Dream

You are the Figher Femme


Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Current Music: ICP,damn this shit is sick!

ive got lots to say. but no time to say it right now. I LOVE emotions. its cool to be human.

Current Music: some russian folk band (thanks bobby!)

SO, Ive been out every night since last Wed. I went to TD's,Mac's,KOC,TD's again then Marks house hen KoC again. I THINK Im staying home tonight but we shall see. I got food poisioning from Mc'yD's. Dont eat fast food fish. Its ikky. I helped my frind Becca move into her new apt(same apt complex as me! woot) and we went swimmy to cool off afterwards.
Alex, great to have you back! Now I have a reason to learn Moulin Rouge.
KC, congrats on things going well with the parental untits. Ive never seen you that happy!
Mark, thanks for the party, your couch is SO comfy!
Jason,always good times lovey, see at TD's soon.
now I need ice cream. ttyl!

Current Mood: mellow
Current Music: the music to Spyro -Riptaurs Revenge

Im moved in. new place good, longer commute bad. no coputer bad, new hunky neighbor GOOD. so i guess it balances out.
Hope to see ya all soon!

Current Mood: is mood swing a mood?
Current Music: queer as folk theme song(thanks Paul & Stan)

My 5 year old nephews first day of Kindergarten was today. He called to tell me about it. I love that little boy! Damn they grow so fast. it seems only yesterday......
lol.

Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: Sunrise Sunset- Fiddler on the Roof

THe beach trip was good. We talked. ALOT. I learned alot yesterday about my new friend Noah Payne. Yes, just friend. Wont go into details, but the gist is he doesnt want a GF right now. BUT! We are still gona be hanging out. Thursday as a matter of fact. I think this is going to be a fun new thing.

Its my sons Bday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GANNON! I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!

best wishes all!

Current Mood: bittersweet
Current Music: Turin Breaks- Underdog